Home Finally.

At the end of day 3.

I always think there will be time to just unwind in the hotel room. Maybe draw with my oldest daughter. Or read. Yeah, right.
Days 2, 3 and 4 flew by in a blur. Day 2 was just the water park. Day 3 was the water park first, then the amusement park after. Day 4 we decided the previous day had caused a meltdown for Grace so we stayed at the pool at the hotel pool. We were supposed to go shopping before Chris and Joy went back to the park to try to win Joy a unicorn ,but that never happened. More on that later.

Grace loved the water park the first time we went. We took her to her favorite, the Hubba Hubba Highway; the lazy river ride at Water Country USA. This was the whole reason my husband planned this trip; because she had such a good time here last year. It turned out to be worth the trip. She just gets so happy when she is in the water, especially if her face gets splashed! Go figure. So naturally, we lost track of time. Then before we left, we took her to one of the kids pools that had a small tube ride. Well she went on that and was hooked!

The next day we went back to the water park with plans to go right to the amusement park after. Well, dad decided that since she did the little water slide she was ready for the big time so we went on the Big Daddy. Gracie would have been fine, had the sign that said" !5 minutes from this point" had been correct. Gracie's window for waiting is about 15 minutes: after that it is meltdown. So we had meltdown smack in the middle of the line. Once she got far enough to see what the ride looked like, she calmed a ltitle. And she did like the ride when we finally got on it. But before !!! Crying, Hitting. Screaming. And everyone looks. You try not to think about what they are thinking but ... It was the same way in China. All the families stayed at the White Swan Hotel and had breakfast, lunch and dinner with all the Chinese locals and business people and the children would cry, as children do, but each of the families felt the spotlight on them when they had to walk out with a screaming child. And naturally, you wondered what they were thinking.
You do what you can to calm them down and there is nothing else you can do.

Thankfully the whole day was not lost. Sometimes when Gracie goes out of her patience window, the rest of the activity is lost. It took her a while to come back out of her shell, but once we got to the ride she was familiar with, she was fine.

It is so important to bring things they are familiar with to comfort them. Both my husband and I forgot to bring things to occupy her, thinking it was a water ride and we wouldn't be able to take them down with us. So I didn't have her blanket, or her stickers, or my iphone with her games on it, or even a toy to get keep her busy. What were we thinking?  All these items are her talismans when she gets upset. They bring her back to calm and we had NOTHING. It's true when they say hindsight is 20/20.  Each time we go somewhere new, we learn a lesson.

By the end of the day, she put her life vest on by herself to show she wanted to go back in!

ALWAYS BRING SOMETHING FAMILIAR , NO MATTER HOW SMALL was the lesson today.

No expectations.

Therapists tell you to have no expectations when you let your autistic child experience new things - like vacation. They don't tell you how hard it is to do that.
Day 1 Williamsburg means Busch Gardens, Dad is an amusement park junkie. In the pre-Gracistoric period of  our family, he would be there from open to close if at all possible. Well
            
 with an autistic 4 year old that is afraid of rides, that is impossible. But he tries.
It was 106 degrees with the heat index and we stayed from ten to two in the afternoon.
Then we came back,after going back to the hotel for pool and dinner, around 6pm. We stayed till 9 ish. It was much cooler in the evening.

For all that Gracie did well, She is afraid of rides. After prematurely putting her on a few at Disney and almost ruining the vacation, we had decided to just let her observe and let us know when she wanted to do something. As the day went on she stayed in her stroller, which is her safe zone. She seemed content and didn't complain much at all, considering how hot it was.  Then we went back to the hotel to the pool to give Grace some happy time since she loves to swim. Then dad decided to go back to the park . By that time I was ready to be done but we braved the heat while dad and sister went on the rides,
Our speech therapist commended me on taking Grace on family vacations to new places. Her comment made me wonder; do families with autistic kids leave them home when they go on vacations or possibly stay home because the child might not be able to deal with the changes? One case is not fair to the child with the disability and the other to the children without. So what should a parent do?
Make preparations, plan for everything and just go, There are times that will be difficult but  it will benefit the whole family in the end. Hopefully my preparations and experiences will help to make your experience a little easier,

Here we go... again.

Next week we will be going on our fourth mini family vacation since we adopted our daughter, Grace Li, from China in 2010. Gracie was a special needs child with a cleft lip and palate and we adopted her at 28 months. We thought we would just have to repair her palate and all would be well. But after 28 months in a Chinese orphanage we found our little girl had more challenges than met the eye. Early this year she was diagnosed as autistic. Wether    they are developmental delays or actual autistic tendencies we don't know, but she is what therapists and autism parents refer to as "on the spectrum". So now life is full of therapies and questions and uncertainties... and love and laughter and dimples. But there are challenges we never dreamed we would encounter.

To me one of the hardest things to do is really a simple one-- go on a family vacation. Wether a full blown family fun vacay or just a weekend fun trip, there is much more involved than just packing and going.

Swivel chairs in the hotel rooms are great!

About a year ago, we went on our first family trip with Grace to Virginia and we are going back again in a week. Since that time, I have learned alot about traveling with autism and I am hoping this trip will be better in some ways.

Each day is a learning experience with Gracie so vacations are no different. The biggest thing we have learned is to let her go at her pace. She's an observer. She watches and,  when she is ready, then she does. So on our trip to Busch Gardens we will let her observe this time, instead of forcing her onto something. ( We learned that lesson at Disney, the hard way- More on that later.)
Plus, we also found she is a water bug, so we will be spending alot of time at the  water park this time.

So two of the most important things I've learned are not to push too far and give her the chance to do things she really loves to do, like swimming. AND allow for downtime, for both of you!
More later!